CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas -- Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a 78-year-old man in the neck while the two were hunting together on Saturday. Harry Whittington is recovering in stable condition, but is offended that Cheney thought he was prey, a local hospital worker said.

Cheney and Whittington have been hunting minorities together for years. "The thrill of hunting people is addictive," a fellow hunter told reporters. "The Armstrong Ranch is perfect because most of the workers there are immigrants. Cheney prefers hunting blacks, but they aren’t allowed at the ranch so we had to settle for Mexicans."

During a lull in the action on Saturday, Whittington apparently snuck up on Cheney intending to give him an atomic wedgie. The Vice President didn’t hear him coming, and when he spun around to shoot what he described as a "dirty wetback," he shot Whittington instead. Whittington’s wife told reporters that this is not the first time her husband’s sense of humor has gotten him hurt while hunting. "You know, I’m just not sure he understands the rules about this sort of thing."

After being shot, Whittington apparently "freaked the fuck out," according to a local ranch hand. "He just kept screaming 'You shot me you son-of-a-bitch, you fucking shot me!'" When Cheney realized what had happened he immediately ran to his friend saying, "I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t tell George, don’t tell George."

Cheney visited his friend in the hospital soon after he was admitted. The irony of the Vice President’s fruit basket gift was not lost on Whittington who immediately started yelling, "I am not a fucking Mexican!"

No charges have been filed regarding the incident. Though Whittington is still a little upset, he has said that he and Cheney will remain BFF.

by Elsie Kay